Robin has further ideas for his story about the Varus Battle:
Caius Wintermasus is gay and wants to be fucked by Arminius. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know that Arminius is actually a woman, but identifies as a man and is really called Arminia. The battle should first be called Caiusschlacht – but to emphasize that the story is true (and that means “wahr” in German), the battle is first called Wahrus Battle, and then Varus Battle (because everyone is bad at spelling).
The moral of the story: being gay does not justify a war of aggression.