Aug
15

The Smart Boss – Final Edition!

Posted in - Fiction & Magic Cucumber And Other Bizarre Tales.

The name of “Man On His Way” is “The Smart Boss” now.

The smart boss – Final Edition

It was early in the morning when the smart boss stepped out of his house. Finally he lived in the gulpy mountains and thus he was able to live out his wildest dreams.

Naked he climbed along the round. He came to a big rock and held on. But the rock suddenly loosened and dragged him down with it. Finally the two of them arrived at the lower end of the crevice. “AAAAARGH!!!” screamed the smart boss. He had pinched his member!

The smart boss had been trapped for three days and died of thirst. If his member hadn’t been pinched, he would have drunk his urine. Fortunately he had diarrhoea and could drink his liquid scat instead. “Shit!!!” he shouted. And his cursing echoed again from the rock faces.

After 120 hours the smart boss decided to cut off his jammed member with his blunt pocket knife. Then he remembered that it was in his pocket and he was naked. All he had were his long fingernails. Seven hours later he took it seriously: he scraped his fingernails through his member. The pain was immense, but after an hour he was free.

He ran into the city and sought help on the next street corner, where a teenage girl with big boobs found him. She saw in horror that he had blood under his fingernails, was naked and had no cock, but legs and bottom full of blood and thin shit. “You’re probably a wanker who wanked his cock off! And since you run naked in the streets you must be a pervert!”

Two policemen came and kicked the smart boss in the balls: “That’s what you get now, you sex offender! Wanking is not enough for you, teen girls with big boobs frighten you must also”!

The other one shouted: “You’re fucked up for sure because of all the anal intercourse… Probably you are an escaped prisoner, we best lock you to the other sexual offenders, which have also diarrhoea!”

The smart boss lay in a hospital bed and read a letter of his fiancee.

“Dear, I have heard that your genitals had to be amputated. So I have to end our engagement now. But don’t worry about me, I already have a new lover.”

The wise musician had a bouquet of flowers in his hand when he visited the smart boss in the hospital.

“Smart boss,” he shouted, “You drank your diarrhea and then scratched your pinched cock. Two policemen put you into prison, where a horde of sex offenders kicked your testicles for hours and hours to destroy them forever.”

“My girl left me, too. She has already a new lover.”

That’s shameful. What will you do next?”

The smart boss looked clarified and like one who had come to terms with his fate “Now that I have neither dick nor balls anymore and drunk my diarrhea, I can actually become a manager in an IT company.”

“Great,” shouted the wise musician. Then he thought, “All’s well that ends well”. And smiled gently.

Epilogue

The ex of the smart boss got pregnant from a neighbour which is why her new fiancee left her. She married that neighbour and started a secret relationship with the landlord.

The wise musician had a go with writing short stories and is now working on his latest songs.

The smart boss became manager in an IT company.  He still climbs when he is on holidays – but from now on only fully dressed.

  • August 15th 2020
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